Adjusting

Have you ever gone to the chiropractor to get an adjustment? I have and I must tell you that I was surprised at how something so good for you could cause you so much discomfort for days afterwards. Similarly to a deep tissue massage - as your body is being adjusted and aligned, your whole system feels discomfort... That's sort of what I'm going through. My life has been readjusted from working mom to stay at home mom and there is some pain and discomfort in the change. I'm realizing how much identity and sense of self I took out of what I did - as much as I knew that my job didn't and doesn't define me or my worth. Now I find myself having to settle more deeply into the truths that encompass this; that ministry isn't a job, it's a way of life. That calling isn't about title it's about inner design and greater purpose and servanthood and a whole bunch of other things. That being hidden is good. It's like a shift that started years ago is now having to settle in as I return to where I started, but not in a "going back" sort of way, but a "coming into" sort of way where I am learning to stand in the years of truths the Lord has been whispering to me. It might sound good, but it's hard and painful... and very good too... when I allow myself to see it from His perspective and not from mine.

It is the cry of my heart....

Psalm 131
A song of ascents. Of David.
1 My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.


"Lord, this is the cry of my heart, to be able to say like David; "I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul... put your hope in the Lord both now and forever more."" What a peaceful place that must be!"

Greece

It's been many months since my trip to Greece and Turkey in March. It's funny, I haven't really blogged about it very much; but it was an amazing trip for me. There were many moments that just took my breathe away, made me feel like my youth was being restored, made me feel alive and excited and transformed and deeply touched. I can't imagine not going back - it feels like I left part of my heart there...

I was reading a novel this week and in it the characters went to Greece and Constantinople - now Istanbul and instantly a longing rose up in my heart! Someday I would love to take Dan there, to walk on the sea shore, to discover the ruins of the cities we've read so much about, to explore the mountains and the islands. I loved it. So who's in for buying a villa on a Greek Isle? LOL - no seriously, when I'm an old lady, that's where I want to live...

Who Am I?

In the years of my adulthood, there have been years of searching for personal identity; years of asking the question - sometimes aware of it, often unaware of it - "Who am I?" These years were often tear ridden as I struggled with deep heart issues revolving around accepting myself as a woman (I grew up wishing I was one of my seven brothers rather than the girl I was - I somehow thought that being a boy was better.) This escalated when dealing with the pull I had to walk in the leadership I knew the Lord was calling me into in the church - and the difficult discussion of women's role in the church. The battle to accept myself and who I knew God was calling me to be was sometimes overwhelming. It was with a breathe of relief that I hit my 30s and finally felt like I knew who I was, I knew what I was "made for" and I liked it. The confidence that I drew from this knowing and resting in who I was was totally exillirating - and gave me an ability to step out into sometimes crazy things, living life to the full.
This move has for some reasons caused the question to resurface. I knew who I was while in the bosom of a relatively safe community, surrounded with support and released and encouraged to "be all that I could be". How am I to "BE" out here where we feel on our own? What does that look like when the community is comprised of our basic family unit? Sometimes there is the fear that the last 10 years was all a dream as I find myself in relatively the same position that I was in before we left. It is very easy to allow the basic rhythms of life to play and move me through the day, missing the very things that caused me to come to life and sustained me through all of the transitionary years of my 20s and early 30s so far. You know what I mean - Get up, feed the kids, clean the house, feed the kids, do an activity with the kids, clean up, do laundry, make dinner, clean up, reconnect with Dan, fold the laundry, tuck the kids in, go to bed, and start over the next morning. As I go through my nesting period here, getting our house organized and settling my family into a new community it is easy to forget. I meet people I haven't seen since my youth, peers, old friends, ex boyfriends and I see myself through their eyes. The more I see myself through other people's eyes rather than as the Lord sees me, the thicker the fog settles around the identity that the Lord established me in. It takes the Lord to give me a shake in order for me to remember!

Sometimes I wonder if I left too soon - I know, "too late now! You should have listened to all of us!" Perhaps you were right, but I realize now that much of who I was was tied into the community where I was, there was a dependence not on God but on the Cambridge Vineyard. I see that in order to really be in that place of trust and confidence, it has to be in God and not necessarily in His community, even though his community is a great gift. Sort of a twist on the old saying "trusting in the Giver rather than in the gift".

So last night as I lay in bed unable to sleep because of the coffee I'd had the previous hour with some friends who stopped in - I felt the Lord say "I want to talk to you!" Uh oh!!! He reminded me that I was here for a reason, that I needed to remember, that who He made me to be was still valid here...

So it's time to remember, time to get into a routine that allows me to not only get the laundry and dishes done and the projects around the house, but also causes me to see through His eyes rather than others - so that I know the answer again to the questions "Who am I?" "I am His".

Partnering in Prayer

2 Thessalonians 3:1-5

1Finally, brothers, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you. 2And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith. 3But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 4We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. 5May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.

Today this scripture (with a bit of tweaking) is my prayer as well as Paul's - "pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you. And pray that we may be delivered from wicked men (and women), for not everyone has faith..." I also pray for ourselves that "WE would do and continue to do the things which the Lord and his apostles have commanded, and that the Lord would direct our hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance."

That last bit is a big deal. "May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." More and more I realize that if I am to walk out the things that I've been called into - along with my husband and children - I desperately need the love of God, not just for others, but also for myself and my family - but not just for myself and my family but for those around me and for the entire commmunity. I also have come to realize that if this is to be accomplished, I need the perseverance of Christ. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, but without this strengthening - this supernatural ability to push through - persevere, then I can't do a damn thing!

Yesterday Dan and I signed the papers to close the house deal in Cambridge, as of tomorrow, it no longer belongs to us. We really felt a closing of a chapter while we were preparing to go to the lawyers, and we cried and prayed as we sat on our front porch for the last time. We also felt that this was a new beginning for what the Lord wants to do with us here in Espanola, and so we, like Paul (except we know that we aren't Paul!) ask that you would pray for us - "that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you. And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith." And that we would be "filled with the Love of God and the perseverance of Christ", trusting always in our Lord's faithfulness.

We covet your prayers dear friends!

A conversation - or at least the beginning of one...

"I feel your presence here with me Lord. All of a sudden, like a sweet warmth surrounding my heart, filling my lungs with your breath. I love your presence Lord. I love that you are with me." **pauses - deep breath**

"I know it's sometimes silly - but I seem to have a great expectation whenever I feel you near - like something amazing is going to happen - I can almost see you coming through the door and sitting down. **wistful smile** I wish this would happen..." **sigh**

"I've been having a difficult time stilling myself to hear you lately. I wish you would concretely come and meet with me - but I trust in you nonetheless. I am so desperate for you though!" ** emphatically now** "I need you so badly! I feel like you're the only one who can sort out the pieces for our life right now. Because of this - I am abandoning myself to you. I give all of myself to you here and now - help me to not pull away in the next minute." **quietly** "Help me to be still long enough to hear you - to receive from you - your love, your acceptance, your reassurance, your sustenance... all of you, even the difficult parts. Today I read again that you have compassion on those who fear you - like a father for his children. Please have compassion Lord... I need you. I need you. I need you." **silence**

God our Refuge

Psalm 46
For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A song. [a]
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields [b] with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

The Everlasting God

“Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night.”- Psalm 90:2,4

Most of those who know us know that we've moved around quite a bit. For about 9 years the major consistent thing in our life was our church - the Vineyard. No matter what part of the golden triangle we lived in - even when we were living on Baffin Island - we knew that the Vineyard was where God had planted us. But beyond this - beyond denomination, or affiliation, there was always something much much greater that grounded us and secured us. It was and still is God. Many times we were challenged - we were asked "don't you want to be secure? Don't you need to make sure your kids are secure?" Every time we would go to the Lord we felt that He was causing us to know that HE was our security. When I saw today's verse it was crystal clear again - He was God before the mountains and before the world was formed, He is from Everlasting to Everlasting - where can we go or what can we do to remove ourselves from His grasp? The answer is nowhere! He is our secure source - our well of life. He is the one who calls us, leads us, provides for us and brings us to lie down beside green pastures - whom shall we fear?

Thank you, Everlasting God for your faithfulness to us. You are great and mighty and yet you grace us with your unfailing love. We are humbled and we cry out to you again "Where you Go, I'll Go, what you say I'll say - for you alone are God!"

"The Never-forsaking God" by Oswald Chambers

Today's "Utmost for His Highest"

June 4, 2008
The Never-forsaking God


He Himself has said, ’I will never leave you nor forsake you’ —Hebrews 13:5

What line of thinking do my thoughts take? Do I turn to what God says or to my own fears? Am I simply repeating what God says, or am I learning to truly hear Him and then to respond after I have heard what He says? "For He Himself has said, ’I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ’The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’ " ( Hebrews 13:5-6 ).

"I will never leave you . . ."— not for any reason; not my sin, selfishness, stubbornness, nor waywardness. Have I really let God say to me that He will never leave me? If I have not truly heard this assurance of God, then let me listen again.

"I will never . . . forsake you." Sometimes it is not the difficulty of life but the drudgery of it that makes me think God will forsake me. When there is no major difficulty to overcome, no vision from God, nothing wonderful or beautiful— just the everyday activities of life— do I hear God’s assurance even in these?

We have the idea that God is going to do some exceptional thing— that He is preparing and equipping us for some extraordinary work in the future. But as we grow in His grace we find that God is glorifying Himself here and now, at this very moment. If we have God’s assurance behind us, the most amazing strength becomes ours, and we learn to sing, glorifying Him even in the ordinary days and ways of life.

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I love this devotional! I've been reading Utmost for His Highest for years, and often the Lord has used it to address things with me - as well as to confirm things He's been showing or speaking to me. Today I needed this devotional exactly... I was so blessed when I read it that I just had to share it with you!

Beginnings

"Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.”- 1 Chronicles 29:11

Amen! What more can I say than this? I have to meditate on this for a while before I can write anything deeper...

Don't give me that Attitude!!!

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”- Proverbs 15:1

I was talking to a friend of mine last night about triggers - those things that cause us to react certain ways (usually negatively)and I must admit that one of the big things for me is tone - like the verse says - I've tried to train myself to not react as much to tone as I used to - to realise that we have different ways of talking. The big thing now is dealing with my growing girls - the oldest being smack in the middle of the "pre-teen" years. The tones that I hear in her voice sometimes make me want to scream. But I've realised that if I react to her in the same tones - it will only serve to reinforce to her that she is right to use this kind of way of speaking with others - and it will cause a gap in our relationship. So I try to respond gently (but firmly) and call her on her use of tone, explaining to her the importance of self-control in her communication. As the verse says;
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”- Proverbs 15:1
I want my daughters to understand that these principles are as relevant for them today as they have been for millenia.

Christ our Hope and Salvation

“so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.”- Hebrews 9:28

Hmmm - what is Paul talking about here? Whenever I see a word like "so" at the beginning of a scripture verse, I am obligated to check out the entire chapter to see what thought the author is completing. Paul is NOT saying that those of us who have received Christ don't have full salvation until Christ returns. I believe that what he is saying is that Christ doesn't have to come and die again to take away the sin of those of us who weren't around the first time. Christ died once for all - A perfect sacrifice, unlike the imperfect sacrifices the high priests would have to offer every year.

What does Paul mean by this statement on salvation? Those who believe that Jesus is the son of God, and that he died to take away our sin, are saved by grace - not by works - that no person can boast. The thing is that even those of us who are "saved" experience injustice and trials and tribulations throughout our lives. It's not that we're not saved, its just that while we are here on this earth Christ has told us that we would have trouble - it's to be expected. I believe that the salvation that Paul is talking about in this verse is the fulness of salvation on this earth - what I mean by that is that is that there will be a time when we will experience true joy, freedom from oppression and true justice. But when?

In every generation Christian have waited for the return of Jesus. We know that he has said that he will return - scripture is clear and this is one of the great hopes of our faith. Read Revelation to see what the return of Christ will do - it's amazing! This transformation spoken about in Revelation 20 and 21, but I want to share with you a part of Revelations 21;

1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
5He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

6He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son."

So as we live out the lives that God has called us to here and now- we wait. Not some kind of passive waiting - after all - we are vessels of the Holy Spirit - the power of the resurrected Christ goes wherever a beleiver goes - so we participate in the breakthroughs of God's kingdom, his justice and his mercy here and now. But those of us who have experienced this also know that there are many times where we don't see breakthrough - where justice is thwarted and the enemy of our faith prevails. Because of this we long for the day of Christ's return and the fulness of what we exprience now in part. The justice that he will bring with him will be true justice that cares for the weak, the poor, the oppressed, the unloved - those who are waiting for him. The healing will be total and complete - So we cry out with the church throughout the millenium, and especially with the persecuted church around the world right now - "Come Lord Jesus, Come!

In God We Trust

“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?”- Psalm 56:4

Wow! What a statement! I've been amazed by the journey that living out trust in God has taken me. Every time I would feel like I had finally come to the place in my life where I could say fully - "In God I trust; I will not be afraid..." There would be some sort of challenge - not always dramatic; (and not always associated with moving!) - that would come to my heart. I would be faced again with the question - "Do you trust me?" or "Who do you trust?". I sometimes would be offended - thinking "Of course I trust in God - have you not seen some of the sacrifices I've made?" and then in the midst of my self-righteous tantrum I would realise - once again - that I had transfered that trust to myself once again... ***repents tearfully***

Psalm 20:7 Says;
"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."

Sometimes the chariots and horses have been my intelligence, my strength, my friends, my community, my husband, my gifts, my circumstances, my experience... ***list goes on interminably*** But sooner or later - and often sooner than later in the last few years - Jesus has had the grace to point out to me my weakness, my poverty, my inability to take a step without Him. At that moment - there is nothing I can do but acknowledge my dependence on Him.

Contrary to what one might think, the result of this acknowledged dependence is not a fear of stepping out, not a pulling back from the call or the challenge that is before me, but an ability to step into it - trusting that God can and will do what He has said. He will provide and support and equip and sustain in the places that He leads me. I am able not because of the list of things that I had rhymed off previously - but because of His great Faithfulness and His trustworthiness. I can wholly trust in God, in His Character, His strength, His justice, His Mercy, His Passion, His love, His Word. The circumstances may sometimes seem insurmountable, the situations impossible - but as I heard Bill Johnson say once "Impossibility must submit to God - because all things are possible for Him." (paraphrased) And so I echo the words of the psalmist;
“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?”- Psalm 56:4

Psalm 103:17-18

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children- with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.”- Psalm 103:17-18

I was just sharing with a friend last night how even when I wasn't walking with the Lord, there was evidence of His work - evidence that I recognised as his work even though I was running as far away from Him as I could - in my life. His protection was evident in sometimes strange and wonderful ways. As I read the verse of the day today, it gives me some insight into what He was doing protecting a messed up, angry young girl who was in full-on self-destruct mode. My parents have always loved the Lord and walked it out in every part of their life. Having grown up with them, and having recently spent a few months living there with my own family only served to strengthen the respect for their lives lived in surrender to Him. I am certain now that much of the protection that was granted to me as I was in that personally dark time in my life was due to the love and godly "fear of the Lord" that my parents had walked out over their lifetimes.

I know that much of what I am walking in now - as far as my relationship with God and my calling to ministry is a result of what has been sown not by myself, but by my parents. As the psalmist says;

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children- with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.”- Psalm 103:17-18

I truly believe this and am thankful for the evidence of this in my own life. Another testimony of the gospel of His grace! He has been true to His word once again. I also look forward to what He has planned for my children. I know that they love Him, that they have made Him Lord and Savior of their lives, but that they have to walk that out as they grow. I trust that the Lord's love and righteousness will be with them and their children. I pray the same for the young boys who will eventually become their husbands - wherever they are.

The Gospel of His Grace

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.”- Acts 20:24

Hmmm... this is the verse of the day today. It caused me to sit back and look at what's been going on in my heart and mind. Sometimes I look at the things that I feel that the Lord has called me to do and get totally overwhelmed. I think - "How am I ever going to make this fly? How am I ever going to live up to this?" I mean - look at the second part of the first sentence - "if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me...) Sentences like this trigger stress in me sometimes - the sense that I'm not living up to the task - that my life is one task list after another and I just can't get it all done!

This was my first reaction to this verse - but as I took a second look I saw it! "... the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Hmmm... testifying to God's grace... I've seen God come through so many times! Every time that we've felt led to do something, He's backed us up - even though I know that we weren't always hearing clearly! (we see (and I add hear) through a glass dimly!) His Grace has always abounded to us. This is something I can testify personally to! The stories of God's faithfulness to us and those around us are testimonies of His Grace and they are today's gospel - I'm not saying that they hold the same authority of Scripture - Sola Scriptura and all that - what I'm saying is that present testimony of God's interaction in our lives is often as powerful in encouraging the body and demonstrating the living active God in our midst. They are relevant stories supporting what the written word has long been saying - He is alive, He is good, He is faithful, He is with us and He desires a living relationship with us. So I stand today declaring the gospel of His Grace in my life - God is good; even in the most difficult times He has been here with me. He has carried me and comforted me, corrected me and loved me. I have no doubt that He will always be faithful to His words because that is the personal experience that I have had - though I haven't always seen the faithfulness in the immediate difficulty - hindsight reveals His presence. This is my testimony - God's grace abounds to those who love the Lord.

I don't think that this verse is about working harder - though there are seasons in life where we need to work harder. I believe that this verse is about being open with the personal interactions that we have with God and His grace - this openness reveals his Glory to others and they are confronted with His love and with the relevance of the gospel. This brings Glory to Jesus and the Father - which is what we were created to do. It isn't a scheduled or programmed way of bringing Glory to God - it is a naturally relational way of testifying to His Grace. This is the task of testifying to the gospel of God's Grace. This is the task I hope to complete as I run the race.

How to recover mid-drift...

I started feeling it a couple of months ago. The feeling deep down that something wasn't quite right. Nothing so drastic that I could really point to anything obvious but I'd been down this road enough times to recognise that I begun to drift away from the purpose that the Lord had for bringing me to this place. And even worst - I'd started drifting in my relationship with God.

I know what it was - The shock of this major life shift had bumped me out of alignment, while the stress of it all prompted a natural reaction of self-preservation through escapism. Reading, playing on the computer, planning house stuff all started to take over the time that I usually devoted to the Lord. Not that I had stopped spending time with God - it was just getting more and more shallow. The thing is that once recognised, this caused self condemnation, shame and a sense of hopelesness which only contributed to the drift. Finally I realised that there was only one thing to do to recover - I needed to press into Him and have a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit. So I set apart the evening last night for just that - worship and Spirit filled teaching. I went online to Bill Johnson's church and watched the bonus video for the sermon of the week. The teaching was simple but good and the Presence of God was palpable. Then I had flipped over to Godtv online to check out what was happening over in Lakeland, Florida. All it all, the whole night was caught up in seeking out the Presence of God where I knew it could be found, and in seeking out, I was filled. God met me yet again. As always, when I'm thirsty and persue Him, He is faithful to answer. The only thing that draws me back into alignment, that helps me recover mid-drift, is pressing into Him.

"So here I am again Lord. I know that I need more of you. I know that I need to ENCOUNTER you. I need you to draw me closer. I am so weak and overwhelmed, but You are strong and faithfull - so I come and say "Have your way O Lord! Come Holy Spirit and fill me up! I need you O God! You are the only One who can satisfy me! Nothing but You can satiate this thirst! Yet in the same breathe, Lord I ask that you increase my thirst and my hunger for you! Set this heart ablaze with passion for you! Revive these tired bones, breathe new life into me I pray! Plant your vision in my heart, birth your purposes and plans in my life! Let Your Kingdom Come, Lord of Hosts! Glorify Yourself in this time and place! Let this entire community praise the name of the Lord! Let them see your Goodness, your Wisdom, your Love, and let them know your Salvation! Come Lord, have your way! In the beautiful name of Jesus, Amen."

Security and Rest

It seems like I'm in a place of rest right now. I was concerned that it might be too big of an adjustment to come to Espanola and take a job that was a step or two down from what I'd been doing. I was thinking that it would be an issue for me. But it seems that (for now at least) I'm enjoying having that relaxed job with very little responsibility. I'm getting home a few minutes after 4pm, with alot more energy for the kids' homework and for the evening in general.

My coworkers are fantastic, and I'm really enjoying them. They are each strong women who have a lot of life and work experience, a really rich resource! So for now, I'm getting to know people again, and enjoying a bit of rest. I leave for Greece and Turkey in 6 days and look forward to seeing what the Lord does during and after that time! I still miss my friends and family in Cambridge, but feel like I've found a bit of a sweet spot here in my hometown!

So We're Here...

We left for Espanola last Thursday; only to be stopped by a huge snow storm/freezing rain in Parry Sound where we had to take a motel for the night. The only other vehicle on the road other than transports was an SUV with a license plate "GIMMESNOW". It was a good thing that we stopped cause the roads were even worse near Espanola. My sister in law's nephew was in a near fatal accident - he's still in the hospital with a 50/50 chance to live - please pray for him; his name is David.

The girls and I left the hotel in the morning and made it to Sudbury by noon. I stopped for windsheild washer fluid at a canadian tire - but the hood of the car wouldn't close, so the mechanic had to take it in and fix it. Fortunately he didn't charge me anything and we were on our way in minutes! We got to the school to register the girls and they had a wonderful welcome. Many of the staff are friends that I had gone to school with, or babysat! Some of them were teachers when I was a kid! The girls' classmates had already been told of their arrival and were very happy to welcome them. It was a great introduction to their new school.

We went to our old church on Sunday - I miss Cambridge Vineyard terribly already! I had to force myself to just sit and not work - it'll take a while to get used to not being a part of the staff... I think we're going to check out the Pentecostal Church next weekend... It was nice to see some of our old friends though!

I started my new job today. The team seems to be really close and friendly. It will be a good place to work; though the work is definitely easier. Going from a leadership position to this one will be another adjustment! The girls had a great first day at school. Elisabeth got a locker (she is so excited - this means she's a big kid!) Julia made 2 new best friends - though she doesn't know their names! Elisabeth made 3 friends. My mom picked them up from school and took them back to St Jude, the church office where she works - Julia impressed the new young priest, much to my mom's delight!

Dan and I have been looking at houses - though there's not much to be looked at! We're realising that we may have to build if we ever want to move out of my parent's house! We're still praying that our house sells... sooner than later!

I keep meeting people that I know everywhere I go. It's a good thing... everyone has been very excited and welcoming - hugs and big greetings wherever I go. Not quite what I had expected! It is a huge change being here though... its amazing how many conveniences you take for granted once you've been living in the city for a while! The stores close by 6pm. The hardware store isn't open on Sundays! I'll try to keep you posted on things as they come up. I'm leaving for Greece and Turkey in 2 weeks - so I'm turning my attention to that. Give one another hugs and kisses - you are truly missed and loved dearly!

sniffle - tear - love,

Simone

House for Sale!

As most of you now know, Dan and I are moving to Espanola. We've been busily preparing our house for sale and here are some pictures of what's gone on so far. The professional photographer is coming on Thursday morning, but here's a sneak preview. In the 10 months we've had it we've put in all new electrical (upgraded the service), redid all of the incoming plumbing as well as many of the drains, repainted (twice), sodded the huge back yard, put in a brand new furnace (2 weeks ago), finished the basement bedroom (insullated, drywalled, carpeted) and more! If you know anyone who's interested, call Art Rae! 519-241-8357 or email at art@artrae.com


Elisabeth's bedroom in the basement - we still need to put the trim up etc...


Living Room... this is my favorite room!


Dining Room


Julia's Bedroom


Master Bedroom (it has 2 beautiful windows that I couldn't get into the picture)


Washroom


Kitchen


Basement family room


Entry way by the living room


Laundry/Workshop/Unfinished section of basement

A Heart for the North

I've just been reading Pete and Cindy's blog ; they live in Fort Smith, Northwest Territories, Canada; and my heart longed all of a sudden to be there - to be north, whether it be there or Iqaluit, or Puvirnituq or Inukjuak (I don't even remember how to spell it!) and all of a sudden a realisation came to me - the beauty of nature that I remember will be in Espanola, the first nations people that I fell in love with surround Espanola, and the opportunity to interact and love and be transformed by God's love for his people is there as well! So this prayer sprung up from the depths of my heart - simple but true...

O Lord, as we prepare to move to the place where we grew up, please keep us from falling into old habits and rythms of life. Instead, keeps us alert and open to engaging those for whom you have a heart. Allow us the privilege of opening up our lives to all whom you please, and help us to discern who that is. Please allow us to have relationship with First Nations peoples. Help us to see Espanola and the North Shore with new eyes - with your eyes. Have your way o Lord! Let your Kingdom come, let Your will be done! We surrender to You once more!

What's up with those crazy Caldwells?

So as many of you have started hearing whispers and rumors I figured that it was time to let everyone know what is going on with us. Short version - Dan has had the opportunity to get a dream job in our home town of Espanola. Though we weren't looking to move anytime soon, it seemed like this was an opportunity that we simply couldn't walk away from. The job will allow me the opportunity to focus on my studies, as I won't HAVE to work(at least not full-time). This move also allows us the opportunity to help my parents out as they have been having health problems. We have always planned on moving back, and building on our 3 acre property, but never thought that Dan would be able to get a job that would provide for that - so figured we would need to wait till retirement, is allows us to fastrack the plan by about 30 years. This job is a very stable - long term one with a good pension - nothing to shake a stick at. So that's it... mostly - a big part of what makes us who we are is our relationship with God and the dreams and adventures that we walk and have walked out with Him - so with that said....

We have had a dream for a little while of eventually planting a church in Espanola and we know that this would position us for such a thing as this - if it ever happens. Now we are not saying that this is something that IS going to happen. Nor are we saying that we are being "sent" by the Cambridge Vineyard - we would hope that once I'm done school in two years or so that they would be willing to join us in planning this, but don't know if that is what is going to happen - only that we have a dream of church planting in Northern Ontario sometime in the next 5 years. Only the Lord knows what will actually happen - as the saying by Robert Burns says:
“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.” or "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry".
But we do hope and we do dream and we do cry out to be the dreamers of God's dreams and believe that this is what He has put on our hearts to do. SO pray for us as we walk these things out.

In practical terms what does this mean? It means that Dan is starting his new job on January 14Th, that I will be doing school work, working, parenting and trying to sell the house all on my lonesome... He's going to come home on the weekends to help out. If you know anyone who wants to buy a house in the East Galt area of Cambridge let them know we've got a well loved one for sale and pray that the Lord gives us the graces that we need during this time. That's all for now folks!

Welcome to more adventures with the Caldwell's - never a dull moment...