In God We Trust

“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?”- Psalm 56:4

Wow! What a statement! I've been amazed by the journey that living out trust in God has taken me. Every time I would feel like I had finally come to the place in my life where I could say fully - "In God I trust; I will not be afraid..." There would be some sort of challenge - not always dramatic; (and not always associated with moving!) - that would come to my heart. I would be faced again with the question - "Do you trust me?" or "Who do you trust?". I sometimes would be offended - thinking "Of course I trust in God - have you not seen some of the sacrifices I've made?" and then in the midst of my self-righteous tantrum I would realise - once again - that I had transfered that trust to myself once again... ***repents tearfully***

Psalm 20:7 Says;
"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."

Sometimes the chariots and horses have been my intelligence, my strength, my friends, my community, my husband, my gifts, my circumstances, my experience... ***list goes on interminably*** But sooner or later - and often sooner than later in the last few years - Jesus has had the grace to point out to me my weakness, my poverty, my inability to take a step without Him. At that moment - there is nothing I can do but acknowledge my dependence on Him.

Contrary to what one might think, the result of this acknowledged dependence is not a fear of stepping out, not a pulling back from the call or the challenge that is before me, but an ability to step into it - trusting that God can and will do what He has said. He will provide and support and equip and sustain in the places that He leads me. I am able not because of the list of things that I had rhymed off previously - but because of His great Faithfulness and His trustworthiness. I can wholly trust in God, in His Character, His strength, His justice, His Mercy, His Passion, His love, His Word. The circumstances may sometimes seem insurmountable, the situations impossible - but as I heard Bill Johnson say once "Impossibility must submit to God - because all things are possible for Him." (paraphrased) And so I echo the words of the psalmist;
“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?”- Psalm 56:4

Psalm 103:17-18

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children- with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.”- Psalm 103:17-18

I was just sharing with a friend last night how even when I wasn't walking with the Lord, there was evidence of His work - evidence that I recognised as his work even though I was running as far away from Him as I could - in my life. His protection was evident in sometimes strange and wonderful ways. As I read the verse of the day today, it gives me some insight into what He was doing protecting a messed up, angry young girl who was in full-on self-destruct mode. My parents have always loved the Lord and walked it out in every part of their life. Having grown up with them, and having recently spent a few months living there with my own family only served to strengthen the respect for their lives lived in surrender to Him. I am certain now that much of the protection that was granted to me as I was in that personally dark time in my life was due to the love and godly "fear of the Lord" that my parents had walked out over their lifetimes.

I know that much of what I am walking in now - as far as my relationship with God and my calling to ministry is a result of what has been sown not by myself, but by my parents. As the psalmist says;

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children- with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.”- Psalm 103:17-18

I truly believe this and am thankful for the evidence of this in my own life. Another testimony of the gospel of His grace! He has been true to His word once again. I also look forward to what He has planned for my children. I know that they love Him, that they have made Him Lord and Savior of their lives, but that they have to walk that out as they grow. I trust that the Lord's love and righteousness will be with them and their children. I pray the same for the young boys who will eventually become their husbands - wherever they are.

The Gospel of His Grace

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.”- Acts 20:24

Hmmm... this is the verse of the day today. It caused me to sit back and look at what's been going on in my heart and mind. Sometimes I look at the things that I feel that the Lord has called me to do and get totally overwhelmed. I think - "How am I ever going to make this fly? How am I ever going to live up to this?" I mean - look at the second part of the first sentence - "if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me...) Sentences like this trigger stress in me sometimes - the sense that I'm not living up to the task - that my life is one task list after another and I just can't get it all done!

This was my first reaction to this verse - but as I took a second look I saw it! "... the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Hmmm... testifying to God's grace... I've seen God come through so many times! Every time that we've felt led to do something, He's backed us up - even though I know that we weren't always hearing clearly! (we see (and I add hear) through a glass dimly!) His Grace has always abounded to us. This is something I can testify personally to! The stories of God's faithfulness to us and those around us are testimonies of His Grace and they are today's gospel - I'm not saying that they hold the same authority of Scripture - Sola Scriptura and all that - what I'm saying is that present testimony of God's interaction in our lives is often as powerful in encouraging the body and demonstrating the living active God in our midst. They are relevant stories supporting what the written word has long been saying - He is alive, He is good, He is faithful, He is with us and He desires a living relationship with us. So I stand today declaring the gospel of His Grace in my life - God is good; even in the most difficult times He has been here with me. He has carried me and comforted me, corrected me and loved me. I have no doubt that He will always be faithful to His words because that is the personal experience that I have had - though I haven't always seen the faithfulness in the immediate difficulty - hindsight reveals His presence. This is my testimony - God's grace abounds to those who love the Lord.

I don't think that this verse is about working harder - though there are seasons in life where we need to work harder. I believe that this verse is about being open with the personal interactions that we have with God and His grace - this openness reveals his Glory to others and they are confronted with His love and with the relevance of the gospel. This brings Glory to Jesus and the Father - which is what we were created to do. It isn't a scheduled or programmed way of bringing Glory to God - it is a naturally relational way of testifying to His Grace. This is the task of testifying to the gospel of God's Grace. This is the task I hope to complete as I run the race.

How to recover mid-drift...

I started feeling it a couple of months ago. The feeling deep down that something wasn't quite right. Nothing so drastic that I could really point to anything obvious but I'd been down this road enough times to recognise that I begun to drift away from the purpose that the Lord had for bringing me to this place. And even worst - I'd started drifting in my relationship with God.

I know what it was - The shock of this major life shift had bumped me out of alignment, while the stress of it all prompted a natural reaction of self-preservation through escapism. Reading, playing on the computer, planning house stuff all started to take over the time that I usually devoted to the Lord. Not that I had stopped spending time with God - it was just getting more and more shallow. The thing is that once recognised, this caused self condemnation, shame and a sense of hopelesness which only contributed to the drift. Finally I realised that there was only one thing to do to recover - I needed to press into Him and have a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit. So I set apart the evening last night for just that - worship and Spirit filled teaching. I went online to Bill Johnson's church and watched the bonus video for the sermon of the week. The teaching was simple but good and the Presence of God was palpable. Then I had flipped over to Godtv online to check out what was happening over in Lakeland, Florida. All it all, the whole night was caught up in seeking out the Presence of God where I knew it could be found, and in seeking out, I was filled. God met me yet again. As always, when I'm thirsty and persue Him, He is faithful to answer. The only thing that draws me back into alignment, that helps me recover mid-drift, is pressing into Him.

"So here I am again Lord. I know that I need more of you. I know that I need to ENCOUNTER you. I need you to draw me closer. I am so weak and overwhelmed, but You are strong and faithfull - so I come and say "Have your way O Lord! Come Holy Spirit and fill me up! I need you O God! You are the only One who can satisfy me! Nothing but You can satiate this thirst! Yet in the same breathe, Lord I ask that you increase my thirst and my hunger for you! Set this heart ablaze with passion for you! Revive these tired bones, breathe new life into me I pray! Plant your vision in my heart, birth your purposes and plans in my life! Let Your Kingdom Come, Lord of Hosts! Glorify Yourself in this time and place! Let this entire community praise the name of the Lord! Let them see your Goodness, your Wisdom, your Love, and let them know your Salvation! Come Lord, have your way! In the beautiful name of Jesus, Amen."