Adjusting

Have you ever gone to the chiropractor to get an adjustment? I have and I must tell you that I was surprised at how something so good for you could cause you so much discomfort for days afterwards. Similarly to a deep tissue massage - as your body is being adjusted and aligned, your whole system feels discomfort... That's sort of what I'm going through. My life has been readjusted from working mom to stay at home mom and there is some pain and discomfort in the change. I'm realizing how much identity and sense of self I took out of what I did - as much as I knew that my job didn't and doesn't define me or my worth. Now I find myself having to settle more deeply into the truths that encompass this; that ministry isn't a job, it's a way of life. That calling isn't about title it's about inner design and greater purpose and servanthood and a whole bunch of other things. That being hidden is good. It's like a shift that started years ago is now having to settle in as I return to where I started, but not in a "going back" sort of way, but a "coming into" sort of way where I am learning to stand in the years of truths the Lord has been whispering to me. It might sound good, but it's hard and painful... and very good too... when I allow myself to see it from His perspective and not from mine.