Well I don't know exactly how to describe it, except to say that something is different. Is it the change of season, the days getting shorter, Christmas lights in the windows? No, I don't believe it is...its more of a feeling of having turned a corner. Something has shifted in me, I'm not sure what, but something...I was talking to someone today and was explaining that all of a sudden, even things that are familiar, like walking the kids to school, feel different. Like I've shed a skin, or like I've just burst out of a cocoon. Maybe its having a sense of purpose, knowing that right now I'm doing exactly what I was created to do, or at least moving in that direction with more clarity than ever before in my life. That must be it. At any rate, I all of a sudden feel like a grown up, and it's okay. I'm also realizing that the thing that's making it okay is the feeling of God's presence surrounding me. Maybe that's it, when we rest in God, everything is just different, because it's his work, not ours. He carries us up on eagles's wings and we are able to walk trusting completely in Him...
Oh Lord, please keep me resting and trusting in you. May your kingdom come, and your will be done, in my life, as it is in heaven!
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
The struggle to be still
I was reminded of a picture last night, it sort of expanded this morning as I was getting up, so I thought that I'd share it...
A few weeks ago we were at Dan's brother's house for Canadian thanksgiving, it was evening and we were watching Bryce, their 16 month old toddler struggle to stay awake. You know the picture, a little guy doing everything he can to stay up so that he doesn't miss a beat of what's going on, yet he's so tired he'll hurt himself if he doesn't sleep soon. Well, eventually Nanny Larose stepped in, picked him up and put his head on her shoulder. The usual reaction to that was of course, to pick his head up off of her shoulder and struggle to get out of her arms...that's what he did if anyone tried to put him to sleep...but when he looked and realized who had him, he didn't bother struggling, he just put his head down on her shoulder and let her take him to bed without a fight. He knew that with her, there was no use trying to fight it, he would have to rest anyways, so may as well just be still.
I'm realizing that this is sort of what we've been living with God. There is so much to learn, so much to do, explore and discover in this adventure we've been on that when it's time to rest, we fight it. We struggle with rest, we don't really know how to turn the whole thing off and be still. Yet when we realize who it is that is holding us, it is with a peaceful, secure resignation that we put our head down on the Father's shoulder and allow ourselves to be carried to that place of quiet rest in Him. It would be better if we would rest as soon as God told us to, that way we would avoid the bumps and bruises that come with stumbling about...we're learning that. But the great thing is to realize that He is the one carrying us through this whole journey we're on, so we can trust Him to show us how to be still.
So please continue to pray for us as we toddle about; learning more and more not to struggle, but to be still and know that He is God.
Blessings,
SC
A few weeks ago we were at Dan's brother's house for Canadian thanksgiving, it was evening and we were watching Bryce, their 16 month old toddler struggle to stay awake. You know the picture, a little guy doing everything he can to stay up so that he doesn't miss a beat of what's going on, yet he's so tired he'll hurt himself if he doesn't sleep soon. Well, eventually Nanny Larose stepped in, picked him up and put his head on her shoulder. The usual reaction to that was of course, to pick his head up off of her shoulder and struggle to get out of her arms...that's what he did if anyone tried to put him to sleep...but when he looked and realized who had him, he didn't bother struggling, he just put his head down on her shoulder and let her take him to bed without a fight. He knew that with her, there was no use trying to fight it, he would have to rest anyways, so may as well just be still.
I'm realizing that this is sort of what we've been living with God. There is so much to learn, so much to do, explore and discover in this adventure we've been on that when it's time to rest, we fight it. We struggle with rest, we don't really know how to turn the whole thing off and be still. Yet when we realize who it is that is holding us, it is with a peaceful, secure resignation that we put our head down on the Father's shoulder and allow ourselves to be carried to that place of quiet rest in Him. It would be better if we would rest as soon as God told us to, that way we would avoid the bumps and bruises that come with stumbling about...we're learning that. But the great thing is to realize that He is the one carrying us through this whole journey we're on, so we can trust Him to show us how to be still.
So please continue to pray for us as we toddle about; learning more and more not to struggle, but to be still and know that He is God.
Blessings,
SC
Monday, October 25, 2004
I Surrender
Well, it's Monday morning and I'm reflecting over the last few days with awe. God has been so gracious and generous with His presence. I feel renewed and somewhat stilled. "Be still and know that I am God"...how wonderful that when He meets with us all else is quieted and we are able to rest in who He is. I am in a place of surrender right now; surrender of my future, my plans, my expectations, my fears, my hopes, my ambitions, my family, my call, and my will to Him and His plans, His purposes, His will. It is so freeing to walk that out again! I feel a renewed hope, but I don't have any idea now what is going to happen...(not that I really did before) but I have that "anything can happen right now" feeling, that He could say "Go" but could also say "Stay" just as easily, and I think I'm okay with that. I do feel that there are still some things that need to be walked out here where we are. That we can't leave until those things are finished...So I will trust God, and keep walking it out.
SC
SC
Monday, October 18, 2004
Press On
Well, it's been quite a battle since we've been back. What with fulfilling committments and dealing with re-entry issues, we've been quite tired and frustrated. The biggest thing we've had to battle is discouragement. The more we looked at this transition we are in, and the more we tried (again) to figure out just how it's all going to work, the more frustrated and stressed out we were getting.
Whenever we would pray, we would hear "pack", but that's it...now if you've ever made a move before, you generally know when and how you are going and where you are going to live if you are starting to pack, so this has been just a little disconcerting to me, I want all of the answers now...before we start packing everything up. But the more we fought to figure out the rest, the more discouraged we got. It seemed like we were climbing this insurmountable peak...and the truth is that we are. If we are trying to do it ourselves, trying to figure it out so that it makes complete sense it will be impossible, because His ways are not our ways and His thoughts not our thoughts. But if we surrender (again) the how and when and where we are going to live to God and simply follow the steps that He's given us...then there is nothing insurmountable, nothing to difficult or impossible. Because God is God, and in Him all things are possible.
So this is where we find ourselves again...encouraged and ready again to press on toward the prize. We are fixing our eyes on Jesus and doing what we feel he is telling us to do. We are walking out the things immediately in front of us and releasing the rest to Him. We feel that we are to go for another short trip to Iqaluit in November, we plan to take the kids with us this time, so that they have some idea of what we are talking about as we prepare to go permanently. We are placing this in God's hand...we need another 30 000 aeroplan points in order to cover the flights, Dan needs to get the time off of work, and we need to money to live while we are there and to make up for time off work. Please pray for us as we walk this out. We trust that God will supply all we need.
Blessings,
SC
Whenever we would pray, we would hear "pack", but that's it...now if you've ever made a move before, you generally know when and how you are going and where you are going to live if you are starting to pack, so this has been just a little disconcerting to me, I want all of the answers now...before we start packing everything up. But the more we fought to figure out the rest, the more discouraged we got. It seemed like we were climbing this insurmountable peak...and the truth is that we are. If we are trying to do it ourselves, trying to figure it out so that it makes complete sense it will be impossible, because His ways are not our ways and His thoughts not our thoughts. But if we surrender (again) the how and when and where we are going to live to God and simply follow the steps that He's given us...then there is nothing insurmountable, nothing to difficult or impossible. Because God is God, and in Him all things are possible.
So this is where we find ourselves again...encouraged and ready again to press on toward the prize. We are fixing our eyes on Jesus and doing what we feel he is telling us to do. We are walking out the things immediately in front of us and releasing the rest to Him. We feel that we are to go for another short trip to Iqaluit in November, we plan to take the kids with us this time, so that they have some idea of what we are talking about as we prepare to go permanently. We are placing this in God's hand...we need another 30 000 aeroplan points in order to cover the flights, Dan needs to get the time off of work, and we need to money to live while we are there and to make up for time off work. Please pray for us as we walk this out. We trust that God will supply all we need.
Blessings,
SC
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Julia's 2 cents...
I'm sad cause I'm going to miss everyone when I move to the arctic.
I love Memere and Pepere.
I will be able to eat fish and go skating in the arctic.
I want to say to Dakota that I will be able to send you messages on the computer.
And that's Julia's 2 cents... :)
I love Memere and Pepere.
I will be able to eat fish and go skating in the arctic.
I want to say to Dakota that I will be able to send you messages on the computer.
And that's Julia's 2 cents... :)
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Monday, October 11, 2004
Our Trip to Puvirnituq, (Nunavik) Quebec
Surveying the Land
We left for Montreal on Tuesday, September 7th. Thanks to the generosity of the Lord (and the obedience of His servants) we were able to fly out of Toronto, instead of drive there, which had been our original intention. We were able to stay in a hotel and arrived at Trudeau airport on the morning of the 8th fresh and ready for the adventures of the day (or so we thought).
It was to be a routine flight, a 20-minute layover in La Grande Riviere airport and then into Puvirnituq, we were to arrive at around 12:30. Our 20-minute layover turned into a 2-1/2 hour layover due to high winds. We finally left for Puvirnituq and nearly landed, unfortunately because of the unusually high winds we got about 1 foot off of the ground and had to go back up. The pilot announced that we would not be able to land and would have to go to another community nearby to pick up more passengers before returning to Montreal. We arrived in Montreal at around 8:00 in the evening, 11 hours after having left! Unable to get any information from the airline, we resigned ourselves to getting another hotel room and determined to return to the airport bright and early in order to be sure to get seats on the next flight.
We returned to the airport at 4:30 in the morning, knowing that there were 8 others vying for seats on an already full flight. The ticket counter opened at 5:30 and we were told that we could fly into Inukjuak, but would have to get off of the Dash-8 there and take a Twin-Otter the rest of the way. We agreed to this arrangement, as we would have the opportunity to land in every community along the Hudson coast on our way. We really felt like God was allowing us to survey the land, to see all that was to be seen. It was breathtaking! We saw tall mountains, gaping ravines, shining lakes and verdant valleys; as we pressed north the tundra changed colors like the trees do in the south and caused the land to glow in shades of scarlet and gold.
We landed in Inukjuak and waited to board the Twin-Otter to Puvirnituq.
Several hours later we found out that we wouldn’t be able to fly into Puvirnituq, again because of winds, and that we couldn’t return to Montreal as the only plane had left 10 minutes before. We were stuck! The attendants at the airport were surprised when they realized that we weren’t there for work, they had suggested that we call our employers to pay for our accommodations at the hotel. We explained that we were on our way to the Bible Conference and didn’t have the money for a hotel. They called they Anglican minister’s house and sure enough, Lena, his wife was there in no time, taking us in. We spent a wonderful day and evening with Lena and Jola. We were able to have a time of prayer in the evening and the Holy Spirit was palpable as we prayed in English and they prayed in Inuktitut.
The next morning Jola took us on a tour of the village, even showing us where the road ends and where he sets his tent to hunt. The last place we stopped was his church; as we entered, I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence so strongly that I wept. It was with tears that we left Inukjuak that afternoon; we were amazed at the divine appointments the Lord had prepared for us. What a blessing!
We finally arrived in Puvirnituq two days late, at 2:30. Harry Tulugak, was there waiting for us. He settled us into the place we were to stay and encouraged us to rest and join the conference that evening. We were amazed at the Lord’s provision for us. We were billeted with a young woman who had only been there for 2 weeks as a teacher. We had our own room, laundry facilities and all of the privacy we could want as she was at work all day and out many of the evenings. Monica turned out to be a delightful hostess and a wonderful person, we were truly blessed as we were able to walk her through asking Jesus to be the Lord of her life on the second day we were there.
The Conference...Wow! That about sums it up for us. We have never experienced such a powerful move of the Holy Spirit. The speakers were great, but it was more the abiding presence of the Lord that shook us to the core of our beings. The palpable love of the Father for this people was moving. The truth that God loves them, that He is for them and that He wants to set them free was truly evident during the entire duration of this conference.
The Bottom Line
We are so grateful to the Lord as we meditate on what has occurred through this trip. We were able to really connect with the leaders and felt embraced and welcomed. We feel that the Lord confirmed to the both of us this call we have been feeling and that He has caused us to fall in love with His people. We have been invited back and look forward to going again. We believe that we are to go back for another short visit, this time with the kids to Iqualuit, but this time we want to go when its life as usual. We will be setting a date for that in the near future and will be letting everyone know how they can pray for us and what the specific needs are. We do believe that we need to get ready to move, and are starting to pack things up as we sort through what should be stored and what should come with us (and what should go). We feel that the Lord has told us that we need to literally be ready to go when He says go. Please pray for clarity and direction for us and that the Lord’s will would be accomplished in our lives.
We left for Montreal on Tuesday, September 7th. Thanks to the generosity of the Lord (and the obedience of His servants) we were able to fly out of Toronto, instead of drive there, which had been our original intention. We were able to stay in a hotel and arrived at Trudeau airport on the morning of the 8th fresh and ready for the adventures of the day (or so we thought).
It was to be a routine flight, a 20-minute layover in La Grande Riviere airport and then into Puvirnituq, we were to arrive at around 12:30. Our 20-minute layover turned into a 2-1/2 hour layover due to high winds. We finally left for Puvirnituq and nearly landed, unfortunately because of the unusually high winds we got about 1 foot off of the ground and had to go back up. The pilot announced that we would not be able to land and would have to go to another community nearby to pick up more passengers before returning to Montreal. We arrived in Montreal at around 8:00 in the evening, 11 hours after having left! Unable to get any information from the airline, we resigned ourselves to getting another hotel room and determined to return to the airport bright and early in order to be sure to get seats on the next flight.
We returned to the airport at 4:30 in the morning, knowing that there were 8 others vying for seats on an already full flight. The ticket counter opened at 5:30 and we were told that we could fly into Inukjuak, but would have to get off of the Dash-8 there and take a Twin-Otter the rest of the way. We agreed to this arrangement, as we would have the opportunity to land in every community along the Hudson coast on our way. We really felt like God was allowing us to survey the land, to see all that was to be seen. It was breathtaking! We saw tall mountains, gaping ravines, shining lakes and verdant valleys; as we pressed north the tundra changed colors like the trees do in the south and caused the land to glow in shades of scarlet and gold.
We landed in Inukjuak and waited to board the Twin-Otter to Puvirnituq.
Several hours later we found out that we wouldn’t be able to fly into Puvirnituq, again because of winds, and that we couldn’t return to Montreal as the only plane had left 10 minutes before. We were stuck! The attendants at the airport were surprised when they realized that we weren’t there for work, they had suggested that we call our employers to pay for our accommodations at the hotel. We explained that we were on our way to the Bible Conference and didn’t have the money for a hotel. They called they Anglican minister’s house and sure enough, Lena, his wife was there in no time, taking us in. We spent a wonderful day and evening with Lena and Jola. We were able to have a time of prayer in the evening and the Holy Spirit was palpable as we prayed in English and they prayed in Inuktitut.
The next morning Jola took us on a tour of the village, even showing us where the road ends and where he sets his tent to hunt. The last place we stopped was his church; as we entered, I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence so strongly that I wept. It was with tears that we left Inukjuak that afternoon; we were amazed at the divine appointments the Lord had prepared for us. What a blessing!
We finally arrived in Puvirnituq two days late, at 2:30. Harry Tulugak, was there waiting for us. He settled us into the place we were to stay and encouraged us to rest and join the conference that evening. We were amazed at the Lord’s provision for us. We were billeted with a young woman who had only been there for 2 weeks as a teacher. We had our own room, laundry facilities and all of the privacy we could want as she was at work all day and out many of the evenings. Monica turned out to be a delightful hostess and a wonderful person, we were truly blessed as we were able to walk her through asking Jesus to be the Lord of her life on the second day we were there.
The Conference...Wow! That about sums it up for us. We have never experienced such a powerful move of the Holy Spirit. The speakers were great, but it was more the abiding presence of the Lord that shook us to the core of our beings. The palpable love of the Father for this people was moving. The truth that God loves them, that He is for them and that He wants to set them free was truly evident during the entire duration of this conference.
The Bottom Line
We are so grateful to the Lord as we meditate on what has occurred through this trip. We were able to really connect with the leaders and felt embraced and welcomed. We feel that the Lord confirmed to the both of us this call we have been feeling and that He has caused us to fall in love with His people. We have been invited back and look forward to going again. We believe that we are to go back for another short visit, this time with the kids to Iqualuit, but this time we want to go when its life as usual. We will be setting a date for that in the near future and will be letting everyone know how they can pray for us and what the specific needs are. We do believe that we need to get ready to move, and are starting to pack things up as we sort through what should be stored and what should come with us (and what should go). We feel that the Lord has told us that we need to literally be ready to go when He says go. Please pray for clarity and direction for us and that the Lord’s will would be accomplished in our lives.
Our Journey...
As some of you know, we’ve been feeling a call to serve in the Arctic; namely Baffin Island for about 4 years. At times we’ve tried to ignore it or deny it, at other times we’ve tried to make it happen, neither of which worked. We’ve known that we are called, yet have not known how it is to happen…we still don’t really know the details. It’s brought on a real crisis of faith at times, as we’ve realized just how small we really are. We have seen God manifest Himself though, and are more certain than ever of this call He has put on our lives.
Realizing He is God
We’ve been praying and talking about this, trying to figure it out for quite a while now. Wondering just what our part is to be in this adventure. The more we submit this to God, and release the how and when to Him, the more we realize that He is God and He is in control.
“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;” Psalm 24:1
“Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, "The LORD reigns!" 1Chr 16:31God has really been revealing Himself to us through this journey. He truly does reign! We have so often seen God as the same size as us, we’ve dreamed small, we’ve believed small and assumed that anything He wanted to do in our lives is according to the proportions we’ve given Him. We know He is God, we know He is big, but we are so used to seeing things in a small scale, that even what is big to us is miniscule in comparison to who He is. God is now reformatting our way of seeing Him, He is widening the scope of our vision, enlarging our dreams; revising the scale we use to see things; He is showing us who He is…and He is GOD.
From Then to Now (or Know)
So much has changed since we first heard this call. We have moved, we’ve changed jobs; we’ve finished our internship and handed over the leadership of our small group. Our kids are both in school and we are of course, older. Much has changed, and yet, much of what we first felt of the call remains the same. We still feel that we are called to serve in the Arctic. We still feel that we are called to Baffin Island specifically. We agree that we are to live there, not just travel there and back. This is all still the same as it originally was. What has changed is our expectation of how it’s all going to come about. We had at first assumed that we would be going with a long-term missions organization. We have yet to find one that serves in the Arctic and so have given that over to the Lord. We then tried to buy a business that we could work for 5 years and then sell in order to finance the move…this as you can see did not work out. (I think I can still hear the Lord laughing over that one!) We then had the crazy (and yes desperate) notion of selling everything and buying an old RV, then driving as far north as possible and then seeing what the Lord would do to get us the rest of the way. (This fortunately didn’t happen, as we realized, yes, that Baffin was an Island; and that you can’t drive to most islands) In fact, over and over we have had to contend with the reality that if we are truly called to go to the Arctic, that the only way we would be able to get there is if the Lord Himself brought us there. (Aha! Could it be that this has been the plan all along?) This is where we still are, gloriously resigned to the truth that He is God, and that the earth and all that is in it (including our family and the Arctic), is the Lord’s. We have submitted the how and when to Him, and trust that however, and whenever we do go, it will be in His timing and according to his good and perfect will for our lives.
Realizing He is God
We’ve been praying and talking about this, trying to figure it out for quite a while now. Wondering just what our part is to be in this adventure. The more we submit this to God, and release the how and when to Him, the more we realize that He is God and He is in control.
“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;” Psalm 24:1
“Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, "The LORD reigns!" 1Chr 16:31God has really been revealing Himself to us through this journey. He truly does reign! We have so often seen God as the same size as us, we’ve dreamed small, we’ve believed small and assumed that anything He wanted to do in our lives is according to the proportions we’ve given Him. We know He is God, we know He is big, but we are so used to seeing things in a small scale, that even what is big to us is miniscule in comparison to who He is. God is now reformatting our way of seeing Him, He is widening the scope of our vision, enlarging our dreams; revising the scale we use to see things; He is showing us who He is…and He is GOD.
From Then to Now (or Know)
So much has changed since we first heard this call. We have moved, we’ve changed jobs; we’ve finished our internship and handed over the leadership of our small group. Our kids are both in school and we are of course, older. Much has changed, and yet, much of what we first felt of the call remains the same. We still feel that we are called to serve in the Arctic. We still feel that we are called to Baffin Island specifically. We agree that we are to live there, not just travel there and back. This is all still the same as it originally was. What has changed is our expectation of how it’s all going to come about. We had at first assumed that we would be going with a long-term missions organization. We have yet to find one that serves in the Arctic and so have given that over to the Lord. We then tried to buy a business that we could work for 5 years and then sell in order to finance the move…this as you can see did not work out. (I think I can still hear the Lord laughing over that one!) We then had the crazy (and yes desperate) notion of selling everything and buying an old RV, then driving as far north as possible and then seeing what the Lord would do to get us the rest of the way. (This fortunately didn’t happen, as we realized, yes, that Baffin was an Island; and that you can’t drive to most islands) In fact, over and over we have had to contend with the reality that if we are truly called to go to the Arctic, that the only way we would be able to get there is if the Lord Himself brought us there. (Aha! Could it be that this has been the plan all along?) This is where we still are, gloriously resigned to the truth that He is God, and that the earth and all that is in it (including our family and the Arctic), is the Lord’s. We have submitted the how and when to Him, and trust that however, and whenever we do go, it will be in His timing and according to his good and perfect will for our lives.
So Where Do I Start?
Well, the whole reason for starting this Blog is to help us keep everyone up to date on what's going on with the Caldwell Family. We are hoping that those who have been walking out this whole Arctic thing with us will be able to check up on new developments. We are also hoping that those who are hearing about it for the first time can figure out what's going on.
I will also be posting some of the kids stuff here so that they can let their friends and cousins know how they are doing...So let's get started...
Blessings,
SC
I will also be posting some of the kids stuff here so that they can let their friends and cousins know how they are doing...So let's get started...
Blessings,
SC
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